This is a collection of quotes that is still growing. If you have any comments on these quotes, or others you'd like to share email me but PLEASE don't send me any anonymous or self quotes.

"No sane man will dance." - Marcus Tullius Cicero

"Six mistakes mankind keeps making century after century:

Believing that personal gain is made by crushing others;

Worrying about things that cannot be changed or corrected;

Insisting that a thing is impossible because we cannot accomplish it;

Refusing to set aside trivial preferences;

Neglecting development and refinement of the mind;

Attempting to compel others to believe and live as we do." - Cicero

"There is nothing so absurd but some philosopher has said it." - Cicero

"This board is lonely" - Chalkboard in City College

"The difference between reality and fiction? Fiction has to make sense." - Tom Clancy

"Don't ask a man what kind of computer he uses. If it's a Macintosh, he'll tell you. If not, why embarrass him?" - Tom Clancy

"Every adult needs a child to teach; it's the way adults learn." - Frank A. Clark

"There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child." - Frank A. Clark

"Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely." - Karen Kaiser Clark

"The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion." - Arthur C. Clarke

"If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking, 'Do you want fries with that?'" - John Cleese

"Every graduation speech ever written starts with a simple fact: 'commencement' means something beginning, not ending. You see it as the endpoint of something, because it's the end of the whole world that you know. And every grownup and parent and teacher in the room knows it's the opposite, so they enlighten you with a little vocab. They're not wrong. But they're also not precisely right, because it's been too long for them to remember that it's both. It's the beginning of what they think is the real story, and sometime soon you'll agree. You'll forget that any of this mattered. You'll turn around and condescend to the kids that come after you, and assure them that it's not something ending, it's just the beginning. Real life starts here.

But you'll get the same speech when you graduate college, when you have a kid, when you turn twenty, when you turn thirty. When you turn forty, oh my God they'll tell you that speech a million times when you turn forty. 'This is when your life starts. This is when it's real. This is when it starts mattering. Everything before this was stupid and doesn't mean anything. This is the day you become real.'

And you can feel relief, every time, because the last chapter was so fucking exhausting and you learned so much and hurt so much and changed so much, it really does feel like the beginning of something. And in that long stretch between twenty and thirty, and thirty and forty, maybe you'll secretly wish for a few more ceremonies, a few more commencement speeches, just to give you that permission to start the new chapter. To become more, to start your life, to treat it like it's real, like these moments matter.

You'll get tired, and you'll get discouraged, and you'll stare yourself down in the mirror and promise to be perfect from now on. You'll break up, you'll get divorced, you'll suffer unbearable disappointments. You'll pick up again and keep moving. You'll get fat and you'll get skinny. You'll learn languages, and you'll forget them. You will fall down on the job, and you'll be ashamed of your weaknesses and your unthinking, exhausted cruelties. You'll see the patterns in your life taking shape in your children, and you'll want to warn them to be better, stronger, faster. Quieter. You'll wish for silence more than anything, and for a moment to sit still in the sun. You'll beg for the right to feel your actual age, and not like a horrible mistake has been made where you're suddenly accountable for your own actions. That feeling never goes away. You'll have as many epiphanies as there are seasons, and some of them will take. Most of them won't.

You are the evidence and you are the only territory of any of this. You bear every scar, every moment since your birth is an entry in the book. And that book only ever gets longer. You can't tear out the pages and you can't burn it up. You can't edit and you can't rewrite. You just turn to a new page, and try to do better. And it never ends, and it never gets easier, but if you let it, it can get more and more beautiful. As long as you don't let your exhaustion get to you, as long as you remember that you always have choices, as long as you're willing to read the book and see where it's taking you, as long as you love the book and the sum total of things that have brought you to this place, right now, this very second, you'll stay afloat. As long as you remember there are no secrets, not really, because it's all in the book; as long as you remember there is no shame, not really: it's all in the book already. It's the best book in the world, and it never ends: it only commences. The point of any commencement speech should be just this very simple, very scary truth that so few of us ever own: The only person writing it is you." - Jacob Clifton, http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/gossip-girl (recap for season 2 episode 25)

"Think of the great spirits of the last 50 years: Ghandi killed, not by a Pakistani Muslim, but one of his own Hindus, who hated him because he wanted India for the Muslims, the Sikhs, for everybody; Sadat, killed by the organization that Mr. bin Laden's No. 2 heads now, not by an Israeli, but by an Egyptian. My friend Yitzhak Rabin -- after a lifetime defending Israel, killed -- not by a Palestinian terrorist, but an angry Israeli because he wanted to lay down arms and take up peace... Fanatics are defined by their hatreds; free people by their humanity." - Bill Clinton

"If the alien baby comes, we're ready and looking forward to it... I've always wanted a sibling for Chelsea." - Hillary Rodham Clinton (in response to a tabloid that said she was pregnant with an alien baby)

"Like many other scientists, LeVay did not study lesbians. He explained, without apparent hint of irony, that he was unable to locate any lesbian brains. I've been to that bar too." - Kate Clinton, Don't Get Me Started

"Thou shalt not covet; but tradition

Approves all forms of competition." - Arthur Hugh Clough

"Gore speaks to America as if English is its second language; George W. speaks as if English is his second language." - Adam Clymer

"New Mexico statute requires that in case of a tie, 'the determination as to which of the candidates shall be declared to have been nominated or elected shall be decided by lot.' In practice, the usual method for this rare event has been to play one hand of five-card poker.

This was last done in December 1999, in a local judge's race. Republican Jim Blanq and Democrat Lena Milligan played one hand of poker in a courthouse with dozens of people watching, and Blanq won." - cnn.com

"Analysis: E-mail Helps Father and Daughter Connect Across Distance" - cnn.com headline 11/20/00

"Isn't man an amazing animal? He kills wildlife by the millions in order to protect his domestic animals and their feed. Then he kills domestic animals by the billions (9 billion in the U.S. alone in 1996) and eats them. This in turn kills man by the millions, because eating all these animals leads to degenerative -- and fatal -- health conditions like heart disease, stroke, kidney disease, and cancer. So then man tortures and kills millions more animals to look for cures for these diseases. Elsewhere, millions of other human beings are being killed by hunger and malnutrition because food they could eat is being used to fatten domestic animals. Meanwhile, some people are dying of sad laughter at the absurdity of man, who kills so easily and so violently, and once a year sends out cards praying for 'Peace on Earth.'" - C. David Coats

"Children have more need of models than of critics." - Carolyn Coats

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

"Have the courage to live. Anyone can die." - Robert Cody

"Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you keep yours" - Frank Moore Colby

"What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner." - Colette

"Her life was okay. Sometimes she wished she were sleeping with the right man instead of with her dog, but she never felt she was sleeping with the wrong dog." - Judith Collas, Change of Life

"There is no camp in which I feel wholly welcome

I am looking and looking for a home

I do not find it

Maybe I will have to build it" - Sharon Hwang Colligan

"There are two types of people - those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am!' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are!'" - Frederick L. Collins

"Never claim as a right what you can ask as a favor." - John Churton Collins

"If you cannot solve it, it is not a problem - it is reality." - Barbara Coloroso

"We control fifty percent of a relationship. We influence one hundred percent of it." - Barbara Coloroso

"He who studies books alone will know how things ought to be, and he who studies men will know how they are." - Charles Caleb Colton

"As no roads are so rough as those that have just been mended, so no sinners are so intolerant as those that have just turned saints." - Charles Caleb Colton

"We owe almost all our knowledge not to those who have agreed, but to those who have differed." - Charles Caleb Colton

"The party's over. It's time to call it a day. They've burst your pretty balloon and taken the moon away. It's time to wind up the masquerade. Just make your mind up. The piper must be paid. The party's over, the candles flicker and dim. You danced and dreamed through the night. It seemed to be right, just being with him. Now you must wake up, all dreams must end. Take off your make-up, the party's over, it's all over my friend." - Betty Comden and Adolph Green, Bells are Ringing

"Thank you for calling. To be placed on hold and listen to a tinny version of Greensleeves, press 1. To speak to a customer service representative who has no interest in your problem, press 2. To speak to someone who is very friendly and understanding, but no help whatsoever, press 3. To be plunged into a telephonic abyss of silence, press 4. To be disconnected for no apparent reason, pre.... " - a commercial in Britian

"Time... is not a great healer. It is an indifferent and perfunctory one. Sometimes it does not heal at all. And sometimes when it seems to, no healing has been necessary." - Ivy Compton-Burnett

"For refund, insert baby here." - Graffiti on condom machine

"Learning without thought is labor lost." - Confucius

"Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in." - Confucius

"The nature of men is always the same; it is their habits that separate them." - Confucius

"The path may not be left for an instant. If it could be left, it would not be the path." - Confucius

"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance." - Confucius

"To see what is right and not to do it is cowardice." - Confucius

"We can avoid making choices by doing nothing, but even that is a decision." - Confucius

"We take greater pains to persuade others that we are happy than in endeavoring to think so ourselves." - Confucius

"When anger rises, think of the consequences." - Confucius

"When you have faults, do not fear to abandon them." -Confucius

"Worry not that not that no one knows of you; seek to be worth knowing." - Confucius

"Did I offer less than I lost?" - The Connells

"Let me tear down into your heart. Let me take a seat and stay awhile... Let me steal a glimpse from your eyes. Let me pin it up and stare awhile... Let me have a half of your whole. Let me keep it for myself awhile... Let me take the words from your mouth. Let me swallow them and speak awhile." - The Connells

"Sing to me sweetly as I turn sour." - The Connells

"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self." - Cyril Connolly

"There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say." - Cyril Connolly

"New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there. Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up." - Jimmy Connors

"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race." - Calvin Coolidge

"Too often, the opportunity knocks, but by the time you push back the chain, push back the bolt, unhook the two locks and shut off the burglar alarm, it's too late." - Rita Coolidge

"I slept like a log last night. I woke up in a fireplace." - Tommy Cooper

"Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what you think it is you want to hear." - Alan Corenk

"Don't spend $2 to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for 75 cents." -William Coronel

"The most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well." - Baron Pierre De Coubertin

"Help me believe in anything, 'cause I wanna be someone who believes." - Counting Crows

"I would like to fall in love again but my only hope is that love doesn't happen so often to me after this. I don't want to get so used to falling in love that I get curious to experience something more extreme - whatever that may be." - Douglas Coupland, Life After God

"The radio stations all seemed to be talking about Jesus nonstop, and it seemed to be this crazy orgy of protection, with everyone projecting onto Jesus the antidotes to the things that had gone wrong in their lives. He is Love. He is Forgiveness. He is Compassion. He is a Wise Career Decision. He is a Child Who Loves Me.

I was feeling a sense of loss as I heard these people. I felt like Jesus was sex - or rather, I felt like I was from another world where sex did not exist and I arrived on Earth and everyone talked about how good sex felt, and showed me their pornography and built their lives around sex, and yet I was forever cut off from the true sexual experience. I did not deny that the existence of Jesus was real to these people - it was merely that I was cut off from their experience in a way that was never comfortable." - Douglas Coupland, Life After God

"She say she feels lost, sort of like the way she felt when she was younger.

I told her that everybody feels lost when they're young.

But she say there's a difference. She tells me that at least when she was young she felt lost in her own special way. Now she just feels lost like everyone else." - Douglas Coupland, Life After God

"Patrick: I don't have an agenda. That's a bit offensive, actually. I'm perfectly capable of being friends with a woman without any kind of agenda.

Steve: For how long?

Patrick: As long as it takes." - Coupling

"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live." - Norman Cousins

"There is about as much educational benefit to be gained in studying dolphins in captivity as there would be studying mankind by only observing prisoners held in solitary confinement." - Jacques Cousteau

"While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions." - Stephen Covey

"It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit." - Noel Coward

"Knowledge is proud that he has learned so much; wisdom is humble that he knows no more." - William Cowper

"The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose." - William Cowper

"If you want to change the world, shut your mouth and start this minute" - Cracker

"Lying in bed again, and I cry 'cause you're not here." - Cranberries

"Act the way you'd like to be and soon you'll be the way you act." - George W. Crane

"Only after the last tree has been cut down.

Only after the last river has been poisoned.

Only after the last fish has been caught.

Only then you will find that money cannot be eaten." - Cree Indian Prophecy

"I learned very early in life that I was always going to need people more than they needed me" - Quentin Crisp

"Keeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realised how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level." - Quentin Crisp

"There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse." - Quentin Crisp

"When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?'" - Quentin Crisp

"The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying each other." - Quentin Crisp

"Murdering anyone who plays the violin is justifiable homicide" - Quentin Crisp, Christopher Street

"I asked many people why they drank so much but never received an explanation that I fully understood. It was the tales of their escapades while under the influence of drink that brought me nearest to comprehending their need for it. It seemed to give them a few hours of freedom from rules which, during the rest of their lives, they reluctantly obeyed. If this was true, then in the example of my life lay a cure for drunkenness... never to conform at all" - Quentin Crisp, The Naked Civil Servant

"Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave" - Quentin Crisp, The Naked Civil Servant

"Put any ten people in a room, they may not elect a leader, but I guarantee they'll pick someone to hate." - Larson Crockett

"I love you, not for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you." - Roy Croft

"We are getting in touch with your money" - ATM at Crosslands Savings Bank

"Come to me now, lay your hands over me... Broken in two and I know you're on to me... But I do believe that not everything is going to be the way you think it ought to be. It seems like every time I try to make it right it all comes down on me... Open the door and show me your face tonight. I know it's true. No one heals me like you and you hold the key. Never again would I turn away from you. I'm so heavy tonight but your love is all right... Please say honestly you won't give up on me and I shall believe." - Sheryl Crow

"God, I feel like hell tonight. Tears of rage I cannot fight. I'd be the last to help you understand... Nothing's true and nothing's right so let me be alone tonight 'cause you can't change the way I am... I have a face I cannot show, I make the rules up as I go. It's try and love me if you can. Are you strong enough to be my man? When I've shown you that I just don't care, when I'm throwing punches in the air, when I'm broken down and I can't stand will you be man enough to be my man?" - Sheryl Crow

"It's obvious the trouble we're in... No one said it would be easy but no one said it'd be this hard." - Sheryl Crow

"Color is its own reward" - Crowded House

"Color me in, whatever mood I'm in." - Crowded House

"I don't pretend to know what you want but I offer love" - Crowded House

"If you know me why don't you tell me what I'm thinking." - Crowded House

"I'm still your friend when you are in need. As is once will always be... Together alone." - Crowded House

"Love this life, don't wait till the next one comes." - Crowded House

"There's closets in my head where dirty things are kept that never see the light of day. I want to drag them out, go for a walk just to see the look that's on your face" - Crowded House

"You can fight the sleep but not the dream." - Crowded House

"You've seen me at my worst, and it won't be the last time I'm down there." - Crowded House

"I'd move to Los Angeles if Australia and New Zealand were swallowed up by a huge tidal wave, if there was a bubonic plague in Europe, and if the continent of Africa disappeared from some Martian attack." - Russell Crowe

"To keep a fire burning brightly, there's one easy rule: Keep the logs together, near enough to keep warm and far enough apart for breathing room. Good fire, good marriage, same rule." - Marnie Reed Crowel

"Instead of seeing the rug being pulled from under us, we can learn to dance on a shifting carpet." - Thomas Crum

"The thing that really creeps me out about basketball, is when you're playing against some guy you've never met before, yet he knows all this secret stuff about your mama." - ad for Crunch

"Down with conformity, and capitalism, and The Gap." - Crust for Breakfast, Life's a Brick and Then You Die (student production from my high school)

"Act as if the future of the universe depends on what you do, while laughing at yourself for thinking that your actions make any difference." - Mihaly Csikzentmihalyi

"We're wallowing in more bad music today than ever before. The kids have taken over radio, and the result is murder, musically." - Jack Cullen (in 1957)

"to be nobody-but-myself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make me everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting." - e.e. cummings

"Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer." - Ed Cunningham

"There was never a war on poverty. Maybe there was a skirmish on poverty." - Andrew Cuomo

"The man who believes that trees pollute the environment." - Mario Cuomo (on Ronald Reagan)

"You campaign in poetry. You govern in prose." - Mario M. Cuomo

"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less." - Marie Curie

"There are two kinds of people who never amount to much; those who cannot do what they are told, and those who can do nothing else." - Cyrus Curtis

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