This is a collection of quotes that is still growing. If you have any comments on
these quotes, or others you'd like to share email me
but PLEASE don't send me any anonymous or self quotes.

This page was filled on July 23, 1999

"If a million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

"People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid." - Soren Kierkegaard

"What luck for rulers that men do not think." - Adolf Hitler

"Alice: Which road do I take?
Cheshire Cat: Where do you want to go?
Alice: I don't know.
Cheshire Cat: Then... it doesn't matter." - Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

"Calvin: I've been thinking.
Hobbes: On a weekend?
Calvin: Well, it wasn't on purpose." - Waterson, Calvin and Hobbes

"If you believe everything you read, better not read." - Japanese proverb

"Everybody loves an accent. If you've been unlucky in love, consider pulling up stakes and moving to another country. Then you'll be the one with a neat foreign accent." - Marilyn vos Savant

"The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously." - Hubert H. Humphrey

"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." - Aldous Huxley

"Home is not where you live but where they understand you."- Christian Morgenstern

"I'd help the homeless. And I would be sure that everyone has a rose." - sixth grader's essay

"Most marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse." - Doug Larson

"Remember, when you're with me, it's the only time you're not the strangest person in the room, so go ahead, get weird on me." - Ally McBeal

"Restrooms are for eating patrons only" - Newfield Pizza

"Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats." - Woody Allen

"I laugh in the face of danger, and then I hide until it goes away." - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

"It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians." - Henrik Ibsen

"We have not inherited the earth from our fathers, we are borrowing it from our children." - Indigenous American saying

"It's hard to create humor because of the unfair competition from the real world." - Peter's Almanac

"The single-child yuppo-family that uses the child as a status object. 'A perfect child? Of course! We have one right here - he's under the coffee table. Ralph, stand up! Play the violin!" - Frank Zappa

"I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work." - Ben Franklin

"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time" - Steven Wright

"If I were founding a university I would begin with a smoking room; next a dormitory, and then a decent reading room and a library. After that, if I still had more money that I couldn't use, I would hire a professor and get some textbooks." - Stephen Leacock

"there are worse things than
being alone
but it often takes decades
to realize this
and most often
when you do
it's too late
and there's nothing worse
than
too late." - Charles Bukowski

"If nothing in life is a struggle then life itself will become one." - Britt Etters

"Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams." - Mary Ellen Kelly

"It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me. But it can keep him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

"The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese." - G.K. Chesterton

"Buffy: You read my diary?... You don't even know what I was writing about! Hunk can mean a lot of things, bad things. And when I said your eyes were penetrating, I meant bulging. And 'A' doesn't even stand for Angel for that matter, it stands for Achmed, a charming foreign exchange student, so that whole fantasy part has nothing to do with you! At all!
Angel: Your mother moved your diary when she came in and straightened up. I watched her from the closet. I didn't read it.
Buffy: Oh." - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

"some people never go crazy.
what truly horrible lives
they must lead." - Charles Bukowski

"So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?" - Interviewer
"You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?" - Frank Zappa

"What a pity human beings can't exchange problems. Everyone knows exactly how to solve the other fellows." - Olin Miller

"One reason I don't drink is because I wish to know when I am having a good time." - Nancy Astor

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he doesn't become a monster." - Frederick Nietsche

"There's no point in burying a hatchet if you're going to put up a marker on the site." - Sydney Harris

"One can't complain. I have my friends. Someone spoke to me only yesterday." - Eeyore

"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers." - Pablo Picasso

"To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil, you're overdoing it." - J. Jenkins

"We come. We go. And inbetween we try to understand." - Rod Steiger

"I think that if you wanted to make top ten hits and sell millions of records, you could." - Reporter
"Yeah, but who wants to go through life with a tiny nose and one glove on?" - Frank Zappa

"I've been with the best and the worst in my life, and the secret is they're all people." - Helen Drazenovich Berklich

"I'm not hard, I'm frightfully soft. But I will not be hounded." - Margaret Thatcher

"All big things in this world are done by people who are naive and have an idea that is obviously impossible." - Dr. Frank Richards

"I met a genius on the train
today
about 6 years old, he sat beside me
and as the train
ran down along the coast
we came to the ocean
and then he looked at me
and said,
it's not pretty.

It was the first time I'd
realized
that." - Charles Bukowski

"So long as governments set the example of killing their enemies, private citizens will occasionally kill theirs." - Elbert Hubbard

"Be the change that you want to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi

"We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the Complete Works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the internet, we know this is not true." - Robert Wilensky

"I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation." - George Bernard Shaw

"Joey: You tried to create a snail menage a trois?
Pacey: Well, when you say it out loud, it sounds stupid.
Joey: ...You're taking romantic advice from a guy who spent his evening trying to get three snails to sleep with each other?" - Dawson's Creek

"Value yourself. The only people who appreciate a doormat are people with dirty shoes." - Leo F. Buscaglia

"what matters most is
how well you
walk through the
fire." - Charles Bukowski

"Consider for a moment any beauty in the name Ralph." - Frank Zappa (on why he gives his kids such odd names)

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." - Rita Rudner

"Go where the weather suits your clothes." - Harry Nilsson

"A third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes, drink too much, and ride a motorcycle without a helmet. The reality? Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women want us to think that because women are trying to kill us." - Dennis Miller

"Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly." - warning label on Batman costume

"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy - in a jar on my desk." - Stephen King

"Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped." - Sam Levenson

"Sometimes the best way to convince someone he is wrong is to let him have his way." - Red O'Donnell

"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is." - Ellen DeGeneres

"Alyssa: For you, fucking is you inside some girl you hardly know, jackhammering away, not noticing that bored look in her eyes.
Banky: Hey, I always notice that bored look in their eyes." - Chasing Amy

"I don't think I'll travel anymore. Travel is nothing but an inconvenience. There is always enough trouble where you are." - Charles Bukowski

"The only queer people are those who don't love anybody." - Rita Mae Brown

"My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular." - Adlai Stevenson

"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." - Will Rogers

"Silence is not always tact and it is tact that is golden, not silence." - Samuel Butler

"To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe." - Marilyn vos Savant

"Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved." -Van Kaam

"If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't be a human being... you'd be a game show host." - Heathers

"We're all heroes, if you catch us at the right moment." - Hero

"He who mounts a wild elephant goes where the wild elephant goes." - Randolf Bourne

"A straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but it is by no means the most interesting." - Doctor Who

"I was four years old and they tried to test my IQ. They showed me this picture of three oranges and a pear. They said 'Which one is different, it does not belong?' They taught me different is wrong." - ani difranco

"A merely fallen enemy may rise again, but the reconciled one is truly vanquished." - Johan Christoph Schiller

"Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other." - Ann Landers

"We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones." - Andrew A. Rooney

"Success can eliminate as many options as failure." - Tom Robbins, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

"When your head says one thing and your whole life says another, your head always loses." - Key Largo

"You're not dying. You just can't think of anything good to do." - Ferris Bueller's Day Off

"Look at me: I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty." - Groucho Marx

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Mahatma Gandhi

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind." - William James

"Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you." - Marsha Norman

"Tough times never last, but tough people do." - Robert Schuller

"heres a quote for you

'...It will be left for God to deal with,and you know how he always fucks things up. Oops..--see what i mean'----the gentle bear to his best friend the catapillar that he accidentally squished under his foot.....from the book Jesus Saves and i cant remember the authors name because i have a slight hangover and i haven't eaten all day...the only thing iin my refrigerator is old wonton soup that my room mate bought the day she moved in....that was in November......whenever i hear a strange noise from the kitchen or something and we wonder what it is, i blame it on the wonton...now i am keeping it just to continue to have my little running gag......that and i can say that i am growing my own penicilin for the coming y2k crisis..........i ask you once more....is there something wrong with me?" - Ed L.

"For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong." - H.L. Mencken

"Death is nature's way of killing you." - Bill Maher

"You can be so much more alone with other people than you are by yourself, even if it's people you love." - The Ghost and Mrs. Muir

"There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice." - Mark Twain

"What is dangerous about extremists is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about their cause, but what they say about their opponents." - Robert F. Kennedy

"While the right to talk may be the beginning of freedom, the necessity of listening is what makes the right important." - Walter Lipmann

"It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he is." - Desiderius Erasmus

"A conservative believes nothing should be done for the first time." - Lynwood Giacomini

"You will never find time for anything. If you want time, you must make it." - Charles Bixten

"We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great one to public office." - Aesop

"They say nothing is impossible, but how do you get off a mailing list?" - anonymous

"Sometimes your shallowness is so thorough, it's almost like depth." - Daria

"Men create war to compete with women, who create life." - Sharon Doubiago

"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow." - James Dean

"If we all did the things we were capable of, we would astound ourselves." - Thomas Alva Edison

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