This is a collection of quotes that is still growing. If you have any comments on
these quotes, or others you'd like to share email me
but PLEASE don't send me any anonymous or self quotes.

This page was filled on May 20, 1999

"How on earth did I get so jaded? Life's mystery seems so faded" - Soul Asylum

"It gets harder the more you know. Because the more you know the uglier everything seems" - Frank Zappa

"There is no camp in which I feel wholly welcome
I am looking and looking for a home
I do not find it
Maybe I will have to build it" - Sharon Hwang Colligan

"I feel my body weakened by the years as people turn to gods of cruel design. Is it that they fear the pain of death or could it be they fear the joy of life?" - Toad the Wet Sprocket

"There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say" - Cyril Connolly

"I kinda patterned my look after Cinderella and Mother Goose - and the local hooker" - Dolly Parton

"The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying each other." - Quentin Crisp

"What good are our hands, if we don't use them to touch?
What good are our ears, if we don't use them to listen?
What good are our minds, if we don't use them to think?
What good are our hearts, if we don't use them to love?
After all, what good does a tree do if it should decide to fall when no one is looking?" - ad for Bongos of Domini

"In Germany, first they came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Trade Unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak up." - Martin Niemoller

"Melancholy, indeed, should be diverted by every means but drinking." - Dr. Samuel Johnson

"When I was a child I was an imaginary playmate" - Tom Robbins, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

"This year will go down in history. For the first time, a civilized nation has full gun registration! Our streets will be safer, our police more efficient, and the world will follow our lead into the future!" - Adolf Hitler

"It is much more important... to be yourselves, than anything else" - Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own

"I'll get more and more stupid if that's possible" - My mother

"Some people seem to be born to suffer" - August Strindberg, Easter

"The colors red, blue and green are real. The colour yellow is a mystical experience shared by everybody" - Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

"I look upon every day to be lost, in which I do not make a new acquaintance." - Dr. Samuel Johnson

"Nothing's so loud as hearing when we lie... Nothing's so cold as closing the heart when all we need is to free the soul but we wouldn't be that brave, I know." - Toad the Wet Sprocket

"I need a place where I can go. Where I can whisper what I know. Where I can whisper who I like and where I go to see them. A place where I can bid my heart be still and it will mind me. A place where I can go when I am lost and there I'll find me. I need a place to spend the day where no one says to go or stay. Where I can take my pen and draw the girl I mean to be." - Martha Norman, The Secret Garden (the musical)

"Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old" - Franz Kafka

"There's someone in my head but it's not me." - Pink Floyd

"There can't be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full." - Henry Kissinger

"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else" - Woody Allen

"Apathy is the gravest of sins." - Madeleine L'Engle, The Young Unicorns

"Never let society swallow up your dreams" - Neil B.

"Two wrongs don't make a right"
"But they often make a right-winger" - Roy M.

"Make it a rule of life never to regret... Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it; it's only good for wallowing in." - Katherine Mansfield

"I'm not trying to change the world. I'm trying to stop the world from changing me." - Ammon Hennacy

"I learned very early in life that I was always going to need people more than they needed me" - Quentin Crisp

"It is better to be hated for what one is than to be loved for what one isn't" - Andre Gide

"He drops hints but he won't tell you what's really on his mind, but I know if you look that it's easy to find. And he's got a way with his anger and the way he lets it show, like the smoldering smoke when the fire's left the coals... His door is always open and he's always got the time to give a little something even though he gets behind. And your trips become his and your lives are entwined, but like the horse with the junkie, it's all in your mind" - Toad the Wet Sprocket

"I'm very militant, you know, in a quite way." - Christopher Isherwood

"A is for baby, that flies through the snow" - Greg S.

"Somebody was asking me. Said he thought Richard Nixon was obviously homosexual. I said: 'Why do you think that?' He said: 'You know, that funny, uncoordinated way he moves.' I said: 'Yeah, like Nureyev.'" - Gore Vidal

"The more one thinks about Latin the easier it is to see why the Roman Empire fell." - Lord Derby

"Suicide is our way of telling God: 'You can't fire me. I quit.'" - Bill Maher

"You are hereby ordered to exercise free will and personal choice" - sign David C. put up in our high school hallway

"What lies before us and what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us. And when we bring what is within out into the world, miracles happen." - Henry David Thoreau

"I've looked at the world for quite a few years now and I've found that if I don't laugh, I'll probably end up crying." - David Eddings, Demon Lord of Karanga

"Everybody's got a hunger no matter where they are. Everybody clings to their own fear. Everybody hides some scar - Precious pain. Empty and cold but it keeps me alive. I gave it my soul so that I could survive - keeping me safe in these chains." - Melissa Etheridge

"If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go resume self torment" - Ian K.

"This will be like a Cuisinart that can swoop down and kill" - Greg S.

"The earth is fun to play with" - Joey P.

"Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, 'Aw, who cares?' And the I think, 'Hey, what's for supper?'" - Jack Handey

"I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance" - Rita Rudner

"It is good to have friends, even in hell." - Spanish Proverb

"We don't like what we don't understand. In fact it scares us." - Beauty and the Beast

"It was all sort of easy.
It had all come and gone." - Ron Kovic, Born on the Fourth of July

"Take a good look around and you'll find people trying to mess with your mind." - Richard Marx

"Perhaps she didn't do it deliberately, it was just a habit with her to put a damper on happiness" - Maurice Gee, The Champion

"It is never too late to become reasonable and wise" - Immanuel Kant

"One two, buckle my shoe.
'Buckle your own shoe!'
Who said that?
'I did. What are you doing with those silly buckles on your shoes anyway?'
Three, four, shut the door.
'You shut it - you opened it.'
Er... five, six, pick up sticks.
'Why should I pick them up - do you think I'm your slave? Buckle my shoe, shut the door, pick up sticks, next thing you'll be telling me to lay them straight.'
But it's only a poem... Nine, ten, a big fat... oh never mind." - Shel Silverstein

"Nobody knows where fructose grows" - bottle of Toga! Iced Tea

"I don't know what you're doing, but I want you to know that whatever it is is sick and I want you to stop" - Francesca L.

"The pledge of allegiance does not end with the words 'Hail Satan'" - The Simpsons

"If elected, I promise not only to put a chicken in every pot, but to legalize the container" - 321 Contact

"I keep asking God what I'm for and He tells me 'Gee, I'm not sure.'" - Howard Ashman, Little Shop of Horrors

"Murdering anyone who plays the violin is justifiable homicide" - Quentin Crisp, Christopher Street

"I dreamed that night of mobs and Marvs and rats as big as digs, and Jack standing up to them and other times running away.
I stood by his side.
I ran away too." - Maurice Gee, The Champion

"I found out that my enemies not only surrounded me, they were inside too." - David Elliott, Pieces of Night

"I think this whole breathing thing is just a fad" - Richard M.

"If you want to change the world, shut your mouth and start this minute" - Cracker

"Coming up, Butthead makes Beavis's brown eyes blue" - Announcer, Beavis and Butthead

"I'll never understand why someone might pay to wear a corporate logo. To me, all such shirts read ALL MY OTHER CLOTHES ARE DIRTY or UNTIL WHICH TIME, IF EVER, I DEVELOP A PERSONALITY OF MY OWN, THIS T-SHIRT HAS OFFERED TO SPEAK ON MY BEHALF." - David Sedaris, New York Magazine

"Today in Central Park I saw a nut gathering squirrels" - Dave Letterman, Late Show with David Letterman

"I'll never forget the day when my wonderful mother locked me in the boxroom... I can still hear her voice as though down a long tunnel... as the boxroom door slammed behind me... I sat sobbing on the floor feeling resentment towards my mother, little knowing that many moons later I would be locking her in the same room, but that's another story, an exciting and moving one too. Remind me to tell you about that." - Dame Edna Evarage, My Wonderful Life

"You can take me down. You can show me your home. Not the place where you live, but the place where you belong." - Toad the Wet Sprocket

"Champagne to my real my friends, and real pain to my sham friends." - Tom Waits

"You look happy... Maybe happy is the wrong word" - Ms. Mazzola

"A man who won't die for something is not fit to live." - Martin Luther King Jr.

"This board is lonely" - Chalkboard in City College

"I quote others only the better to express myself" - Montaigne

"Riding with despair prohibited. Keep hope up." - Sign on D train

"If you can't choose how to win then choose your favorite way to lose" - Orson Welk

"Haras, you're a wonderful person, but you're just not a deranged maniac" - Graf D.

"Fred himself was, for the first few months I lived in Chicago, the only person I knew to speak to. I would tell Fred of my life, my suffering, my hopes and dreams.
'Yeh? So what?' Fred would ask, and give me a free limp, warm pickle spear.
It was good to know someone who listened." - Daniel Pinkwater, Fish Whistle

"A mind is just like a bowl of ice cream: It's soft, it's squishy, and it melts when it gets too hot" - Barry M.

"I could cut you in half with my stress" - Perry M.

"That can't be my shirt. My shirt doesn't snore" - Groucho Marx, Night at the Opera

"We are getting in touch with your money" - ATM at Crosslands Savings Bank

"I do not want to talk about what you understand about this world. I want to know what you will do about it. I do not want to know what you hope. I want to know what you will work for. I do not want your sympathy for the needs of humanity. I want your muscle. As the wagon driver said when they came to a long, hard hill, 'Them that's going on with us, get out and push. Them that ain't, get out of the way.'" - Robert Fulghum, It Was on Fire When I Lay Down on it

"It's not that you can't go home again. It's that most people know better." - Daniel Pinkwater, Fish Whistle

"People who cease to believe in God or goodness altogether still believe in the devil. I don't know why. No, I do indeed know why. Evil is always possible. And goodness is eternally difficult." - Anne Rice, Interview with the Vampire

"If we have no tears, who are we?" - Redwood Curtain

"Duncan: You're impossible. Do you know that? Has anyone ever told you that?
Morgan: Quite often, and with startling regularity." - Katherine Kurtz, Deryni Checkmate

"I have had my stomach in knots. I have bitten my tongue to let others have a chance to be heard. I have physically challenged myself. I have cried in front of complete strangers.
We all have struggled, failed and succeeded. The hardest of these to accept is failure. We learn, feel and do more in reaction to failure than anything else. Always remember limitations and reality, not as blocks to progress but as hurdles.
It may seem difficult, as the mountain is more imposing to the climber from the plain. It may take years for the climber to leave the plain and get to the base of the mountain. This part of the trip he must travel alone. He is at the base of the mountain and has not yet climbed to the summit. At last he is on longer viewing his task from afar. He has come to confront it. He may never have the courage to go on, but it is our job to bring him further. If we do not rise to the challenge how can we know he has not challenged himself? He brought himself part of the way. Life does not always work fifty-fifty. We need the strength at times to give more, give all, give even more than all. Strength also means being able to ask for someone to give their all to you. Weakness is when you cannot let others give. Inevitably, we must admit that the climber may not go any further, but not without first trying to help with the initial step. All paths are not paved; be proud of that fact -- it shows you have climbed" - Robert A.

"The highest test of the civilization of a race is its willingness to extend a helping hand to the less fortunate" - Booker T. Washington

"I didn't tell it right. You're supposed to laugh." - Mike C.

"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom, must... undergo the fatigues of supporting it" - Thomas Paine

"from the beginning of time,
in childhood, I thought
that pain meant
I was not loved.
It meant I loved." - Louise Gluck

Me: Why were you in an Introduction to New Testament class?
John K.: Know your enemy.

Nadezhda B.: Does anyone want to come with me to get water?
Sean D.: Not me. I heard about what happened to Jack and Jill.

"That Haras chick is sick" - Joe B.

"You've gotta know happy. You've gotta know sad. 'Cause you're gonna know lonely and you're gonna know sad" - Mary Chapin Carpenter

"Let me help you out. Which way did you come in?" - Paco I.'s grandfather

"Remember, if you ever need someone to put a smile on your face, I can do it surgically" - Chicago Hope

"I don't act; I react." - Gamel Abdel Nasser

"Elixir?! But they aren't even going out!" - Me

"Throughout history it has been the inaction of those who could have acted, the indifference of those who should have known better, the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most, that has made it possible for evil to triumph." - Haile Selassie

"As her tutor you have an obligation to keep her in ignorance" - Tom Stoppard, Arcadia

"It's always bad news when you kill your date" - Jay Leno

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