This is a collection of quotes that is still growing. If you have any comments on
these quotes, or others you'd like to share email me
but PLEASE don't send me any anonymous or self quotes.

This page was filled on February 1, 2000

Barney: My fantasies are good to be in, because you get to wear really nice clothes.
Anna: Ooh! Are they on sale?

"Scully: 2001 is actually the start of the new millennium.
Mulder: No one likes math geeks, Scully." - X-Files

"God give me strength to face a fact though it slay me." - Thomas Huxley

"You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest, that it leaces your arms too full to embrace the present." - Jan Glidewell

"When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist." - Dom Helder Camara

"Don't put off 'til tomorrow what you can do today... And if you die in your sleep tonight, you wasted your last day on Earth doing laundry." - Jimmy and Gloria Fallon, I Hate This Place: The Pessimist's Guide to Life

"Contempt is so easy." - Orson Scott Card, Songmaster

"You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do." - Olin Miller

"If a song makes you tap your foot and you feel it down your back, you don't have to ask anybody if that's good music or not." - Miles Davis

"May you have the hindsight to know where you have been, and the foresight to know where you are going, and the insight to know when you have gone too far." - Irish blessing

"An idealist without illusions." - John F. Kennedy (describing himself)

"Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then - we elected them." - Lily Tomlin

"After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought years to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'" - Ronnie Shakes

"Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it." - Danny, American History X

"Besides learning to see, there is another art to be learned - not to see what is not." - Maria Mitchell

"There's plenty of fish in the sea... And most are like the one who just dumped you." - Jimmy and Gloria Fallon, I Hate This Place: The Pessimist's Guide to Life

"Some people are so right they never learn a thing." - Orson Scott Card, Hart's Hope

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." - Anais Nin

"Blow me if I'm wrong, but you wanna fuck me." - pick-up line

"Insanity is doing the same thing in the same way and expecting a different outcome." - Chinese Proverb

"When you learn not to want things so badly, life comes to you." - Jessica Lang

"There is a thin line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line." - Oscar Levant

"If there's nothing in your heart, what's in your head doesn't matter." - Anonymous

"Life is like playing a violin solo in public, and learning the instrument as one goes along." - Samuel Butler

"If we do not learn from history, we shall be compelled to relive it. True. But if we do not change the future, we shall be compelled to endure it. And that could be worse." - Alvin Toffler

"Wherever I go, there I am, and I hate this place." - Jimmy and Gloria Fallon, I Hate This Place: The Pessimist's Guide to Life

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." - Eleanor Roosevelt

"Nothing we can do can change the past, but everything we do changes the future." - Ashleigh Brilliant

"If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch, you must first invent the universe." - Carl Sagan

"A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past; he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future." - H.G. Wells

"Change is the process by which the future invades our lives." - Alvin Toffler

"Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you." - William Arthur Ward

"I would rather die on my feet than live on my knees." - Charles Hamton

"Forget about World Peace... Visualize using your turn signal!" - bumper sticker

"Opportunity merely knocks - temptation kicks the door in." - Bits and Pieces

"Don't keep reaching for the stars, because you'll just look like an idiot, stretching like that for no reason." - Jimmy and Gloria Fallon, I Hate This Place: The Pessimist's Guide to Life

"When you come right down to it, the secret of having it all is loving it all." - Dr. Joyce Brothers

"The greatest mistake you can make in this life is to be continually fearing you will make one." - Elbert Hubbard

"We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"I can't go back to yesterday, because I was a different person then." - Lewis Carroll

"Live as you will wish to have lived when you are dying." - Christian F. Gellert

"Peel the apple in your hand, girl, not the one on the tree... Tears are for after; they just waste time before." - Robert Jordan, The Path of Daggers

"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are." - John Wooden

"What loneliness is more lonely than distrust?" - George Eliot, Middlemarch

"Our country was founded on a distrust of government. Our founding fathers gave power to the people to keep an eye on government. So when politicians say, 'Trust me,' they're actually being very un-American." - David Duchovny

"Ridding oneself of this feeling that the universe has a personal grudge against one is the first and most difficult task in growing to adulthood." - Colin Wilson

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up." - Thomas Edison

"To go against the dominant thinking of your friends, of most of the people you see every day, is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform." - Theodore H. White

"One grows accustomed to being praised, or being blamed, or being advised, but it is unusual to be understood." - E. M. Forster, A Passage to India

"On the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But, conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons." - Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"Two men look out through the same bars: One sees the mud, and one the stars." - Fredrick Langbridge, A Cluster of Quiet Thoughts

"A learned man is an idler who kills time by study." - George Bernard Shaw

"Opportunities multiply as they are seized." - Sun Tzu

"Apart from man, no being wonders at its own experience." - Arthur Schopenhauer

"Originality does not consist in saying what no one has ever said before, but in saying exactly what you think yourself." - James Stephens

"Roses are reddish
Violets are bluish
If it weren't for Christmas
We'd all be Jewish." - Benny Hill

"For a good time, do not call me, I am dull." - graffiti at Clinton-Washington subway station

"Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles." - Pat Paulsen

"It is more important to know where you are going than to get there quickly." - Mabel Newcomber

"For a long time it seemed to me that real life was about to begin, but there was always some obstacle in the way. Something had to be got through first, some unfinished business; time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life." - Bette Howland

"If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance." - George Bernard Shaw

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." - Maya Angelou

"When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad; and that is my religion." - Abraham Lincoln

"The recipe for perpetual ignorance is a very simple and effective one: be satisfied with your opinions and content with your knowledge." - Elbert Hubbard

"The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant and to let the air out of the tires." - Dorothy Parker

"You don't need scores of suiters, you only need one... if he's the right one." - Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

"The greater part of the world's troubles are due to questions of grammar." - Michel Montaigne

"'Tell me what you read and I'll tell you who you are' is true enough, but I'd know you better if you told me what you reread." - Francios Mauriac

"Knowledge is proud that he has learned so much; wisdom is humble that he knows no more." - William Cowper

"I think what you girls fail to realise is that the female opinion means nothing in this group." - Kurt K.

"In my life, I have prayed but one prayer: Oh Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And God granted it." Francois-Marie Arouet Voltaire

"Keep your room dirty so your mom will be afraid to come in, and then she won't take your stuff." - Geoff Rill (twelve-year-old), Chicken Soup for the Kid's Soul

"Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." - Edgar Allen Poe

"Never frown because you never know who might be falling in love with your smile." - Justine Milton

Me: Edith is the new blanket of love.
Edith B.: Aw, sookie sookie.

"The plainest sign of wisdom is a continual cheerfulness: her state is like that of things in the regions above the moon, always clear and serene." - Michel Montaigne

"Why does McDonald's have to count every burger that they sell? What is their ultimate goal? Do they want cows to surrender voluntarily?" - Jerry Seinfeld

"Life is like stew. If you don't stir it frequently all the scum rises to the top." - Tom Robbins

"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence." - Albert Einstein

"You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time - but most of the time they will make fools of themselves." - Francois-Marie Arouet Voltaire

"Don't dare to be different, dare to be yourself - if that doesn't make you different then something is wrong." - Laura Baker

"The quickest way to end a war is to lose it." - George Orwell

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm." - Winston Churchill

"The world is your playground. Why aren't you playing?" - Ellie Katz

"Always drive on roads, not on people." - ad for Hyundai

"The world is but a school of inquiry." - Michel Montaigne

"We are here on earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I do not know." - W. H. Auden

"No life is so hard that you can't make it easier by the way you take it." - Ellen Glascow

"Man is only miserable so far as he thinks himself so." - Jacopo Sannazaro

"To believe in God is impossible not to believe in Him is absurd." - Francois-Marie Arouet Voltaire

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." - Rich Jeni

"The secret of growing old is having lots of experience you can no longer use." - Stanislaw Lec

"In Los Angeles, the jury in the Reginald Denny Beating trial, after much thinking, concludes, that Person A is not necessarily trying to kill Person B just because Person A happens to very deliberately bash Person B's skull in with a brick. The verdict is applauded by scientists at the Tobacco Institute." - Dave Barry

"Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures." - Dr. Samuel Johnson

"There is always a secret irritation about a laugh into which we cannot join." - Agnes Repplier

"If you treat people right they will treat you right - ninety percent of the time." - Franklin Delano Roosevelt

"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." - Will Rogers

"Only after the last tree has been cut down.
Only after the last river has been poisoned.
Only after the last fish has been caught.
Only then you will find that money cannot be eaten." - Cree Indian Prophecy

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Signature quotes
Alphabetical index of quotes