This is a collection of quotes that is still growing. If you have any comments on these quotes, or others you'd like to share email me but PLEASE don't send me any anonymous or self quotes.

"Let you mind go, and your body will follow" -

"You know, I don't think you realize how unattractive hate is" - L.A. Story

"What am I trying to tell myself and why do I never listen?... Why am I trying to kill myself by killing all my feelings?" - Lack Thereof

"Piñero has missed the putt, I wonder what he's thinking in Spanish." - Renton Laidlaw (a golf commentator)

"A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner, so if one's life is cold and bare he can blame none but himself." - Louis L'Amour

"Getting fired is nature's way to telling you that you had the wrong job in the first place." - Hal Lancaster, Wall Street Journal

"Friends with benefits? More than friends? Don't sample the goodies unless you're willing to risk addiction and withdrawal." - Ann Landers

"People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim." - Ann Landers

"Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other." - Ann Landers

"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good." - Ann Landers

"When you learn not to want things so badly, life comes to you." - Jessica Lang

"Two men look out through the same bars: One sees the mud, and one the stars." - Fredrick Langbridge, A Cluster of Quiet Thoughts

"Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty." - Adair Lara

"They fuck you up, your Mum and Dad.

They may not mean to, but they do.

And give you all the faults they had

And add some extra, just for you." - Philip Larkin

"In debating the respective merits of dogs and cats, not having to walk a cat when it's 20 below zero deserves consideration." - Doug Larson

"If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend." - Doug Larson

"Most marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse." - Doug Larson

"Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it." - Doug Larson

"How do we leave the past behind when it keeps finding ways to get to your heart?" - Jonathan Larson, Rent

"Beware of the man of one book" - Latin Proverb

"If you think you're hearing something and you can't think what it is. If you feel a quiet longing lift your heart into the wind. There you'll find my kindred spirit. There you'll meet me as a friend. It is just a kindred spirit and a song to let you in." - Cyndi Lauper

"You can't take the joy from the soul of this girl." - Cyndi Lauper

"You rescued me. I didn't want to be saved." - Cyndi Lauper

"It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful." - Anton Szandor LaVey

"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision." - Lynn Lavner

"I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so." - Stephen Leacock

"If I were founding a university I would begin with a smoking room; next a dormitory, and then a decent reading room and a library. After that, if I still had more money that I couldn't use, I would hire a professor and get some textbooks." - Stephen Leacock

"A sportsman is a man who, every now and then, simply has to get out and kill something. Not that he's cruel. He wouldn't hurt a fly. It's not big enough." - Stephen Leacock

"There's always room for improvement. It's the biggest room in the house." - Louise Heath Leber

"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater... suggest that he wear a tail." - Fran Lebowitz

"I met a man so poorly read that he had to make up his own quotations from the classics." - Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

"Many a zero thinks that it is the ellipse on which the earth travels." - Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

"In prison cells the sun draws shadows of the bars on the floor. In the squares the prisoners can play crossword puzzles. The possibilities depend on the size of the bars." - Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

"The secret of growing old is having lots of experience you can no longer use." - Stanislaw Lec

"I've got to follow them - I am their leader." - Alexandre Ledru-Rollin

"Don't ignore the five senses in search of a sixth." - Bruce Lee

"Darwin was wrong. Man's still an ape" - Jerome Lawrence and Robert E. Lee, Inherit the Wind

"He hasn't an enemy in the world. Only his friends hate him." - Jerome Lawrence and Robert E. Lee, Inherit the Wind

"Brady: I do not think about things that I do not think about.

Drummond: Do you ever think about things that you do think about?" - Jerome Lawrence and Robert E. Lee, Inherit the Wind

"You're not gonna change any of them by talkin' right, they've got to want to learn themselves." - Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

"I'm not bitter... Four years of college. Out in the fucking park. No, I'm not bitter." - Master Lee

"What If The Hokey Pokey Is Really What It's All About?" - Rodney Lee

"It had never occurred to me before that music and thinking are so much alike. In fact you could say music is another way of thinking, or maybe thinking is another kind of music." - Ursula K. Le Guin

"Almost every day during the hunting season you see at least... one item in the newspapers about somebody who has shot somebody else under the impression that he was a deer with a red hat, perhaps? Maybe a large, flesh-colored squirrel?" - Tom Lehrer

"I know there are people in this world who don't love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!" - Tom Lehrer

"On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away." - Tom Lehrer

"Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize" - Tom Lehrer

"When Kissinger can get the Nobel Peace Prize, what is there left for satire?" - Tom Lehrer

"Are anybody's parents typical?" - Madeleine L'Engle

"It is the ability to choose which makes us human." - Madeleine L'Engle, Walking on Water

"When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability." - Madeleine L'Engle, Walking on Water

"Apathy is the gravest of sins." - Madeleine L'Engle, The Young Unicorns

"According to a new study, 63% of men surveyed said they like to settle an argument by having sex. The other 37% of the men said they would never want to get into an argument with those men." - Jay Leno

"According to a recent study in 'Bride' magazine, women who are engaged say they have sex on the average of 2.9 times a week. And they say that .9 is really frustrating." - Jay Leno

"In a speech earlier today President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of Saddam Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with food, medicine, supplies, housing, education - anything that's needed. Isn't that amazing? He finally comes up with a domestic agenda and it's for Iraq. Maybe we could bring that here if it works out." - Jay Leno

"In California, 50 women protested the impending war with Iraq by lying on the ground naked and spelling out the word peace. Right idea, wrong president." - Jay Leno

"It's always bad news when you kill your date" - Jay Leno

"The state of Texas executed its third prison inmate this week. This week, In fact, they don't even have a last meal anymore, now it's a buffet." - Jay Leno

"Today there are more overweight people in America than there are average weight people. So, overweight people are now average. Good news... you've already met your New Year's resolution!" - Jay Leno

"The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they'll just be known as the Bullets." - Jay Leno

"I don't eat chicken anymore. I won't eat it. I won't allow it in my house." - Rodney Leonard, U.S. Poultry inspector

"We've all been blessed with God-given talents. Mine just happens to be beating people up." - Sugar Ray Leonard

"Real misanthropes are not found in solitude, but in the world, since it is experience of life, and not philosophy, which produces real hatred of mankind." - Giacomo Leopardi

"Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment." - Barry LePatner

"It's not the earth the meek inherit, it's the dirt." - Alan Jay Lerner, Camelot

"Only fools never doubt." - Alan Jay Lerner, Camelot

"Remember to think." - Alan Jay Lerner, Camelot

"Arthur: This is the season for gathering flowers.

Lancelot: Knights gathering flowers, your majesty?

Arthur: Well someone has to do it." - Alan Jay Lerner, Camelot

"Mud can make you prisoner and the plains can make you dry. Snow can burn your eyes but only people make you cry." - Alan Jay Lerner, Paint Your Wagon

"That is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you've understood all your life, but in a new way." - Doris Lessing

"What's terrible is to pretend that the second-rate is first-rate. To pretend that you don't need love when you do; or you like your work when you know quite well you're capable of better." - Doris Lessing

"He who doesn't lose his wits over certain things has no wits to lose." - Gotthold Ephraim Lessing

"New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you." - David Letterman

"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either." - David Letterman

"When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?" - David Letterman

"Today in Central Park I saw a nut gathering squirrels" - Dave Letterman, Late Show with David Letterman

"I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on." - Oscar Levant

"I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away." - Oscar Levant

"There is a thin line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line." - Oscar Levant

"What the world needs now is more geniuses with humility. There are so few of us left." - Oscar Levant

"Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped." - Sam Levenson

"If you love something, set it on fire. If it still comes back to you, then it really loves you, and deserves whatever it gets." - Arthur Levesque, (stolen from Ruminations)

"She didn't know if she was going mad or going sane" - Ira Levin, Rosemary's Baby

"Too often we give our children answers to remember rather than problems to solve." - Roger Lewin

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: 'What! You, too? Thought I was the only one.'" - C.S. Lewis

"There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal." - C.S. Lewis

"When you have found your own room, be kind to those who have chosen different doors and to those who are still in the hall." -C.S. Lewis

"I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks." - Joe E. Lewis

"My grandfather used to make home movies and edit out the joy." - Richard Lewis

"Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, especially if the goods are worthless." - Sinclair Lewis

"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it." - W.M. Lewis

"Dick Cheney is a rock-solid candidate, with all the charisma of that inorganic substance." - Lexington, The Economist

"A five year old boy had a very precocious interest in motorcycles. Whenever he saw one, he would let out a howl of job, accompanied by animated remarks like `Look at that! Look at that! I'm going to get a motorcycles someday." His father's answer was always the same. `Not so long as I'm alive, you won't.'

One day, while the boy was talking to his friend, a brand-new stylish bike zoomed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, `Look at that! Look at that! I'm getting one of those - as soon as my dad dies!'" - Adapted from a story by Elizabeth Leyda, 601 Quotes about Marriage & Family

"It often takes more courage to change one's opinion than to stick to it" - George Christoph Lichtenburg

"Some men come by the name of genius in the same way as an insect comes by the name of centipede -- not because it has a hundred feet, but because most people can't count above fourteen." - G.C. Lichtenberg

"Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime." - G. Gordon Liddy

"If you want to be an effective leader, you need not only to get people to follow you, you need to go someplace that counts." - Peter Likins

"Live without hope. Live for the moment." - Limelight

"Occasionally I think of things. The wrong things, I suppose." - Limelight

"As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master." - Abraham Lincoln

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

"He has a right to criticize who has a heart to help." - Abraham Lincoln

"If the policy of the government upon vital questions affecting the whole people is to be fixed by decisions of the Supreme Court, then the people will have ceased to be their own rulers." - Abraham Lincoln

"Important principles may and must be inflexible." - Abraham Lincoln

"Most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be." - Abraham Lincoln

"Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves." - Abraham Lincoln

"When I am getting ready to reason with a man, I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself and what I am going to say and two-thirds about him and what he is going to say." - Abraham Lincoln

"When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad; and that is my religion." - Abraham Lincoln

"Ignorance is a voluntary misfortune." - Nicholas Ling

"It sucks when you try your best, and your best sucks." - Andrea Lipman

"While the right to talk may be the beginning of freedom, the necessity of listening is what makes the right important." - Walter Lipmann

"You can't expect to win unless you know why you lose." – Benjamin Lipson

"In another life you might have been a genius. In another life you might have been a star. In another life your face might've been perfect. In another life you'd drive a better car. In another life all your jokes are funny. In another life your heart is free from fear. In another life you make a lot of money. In this other life everything is clear. In another life you're always the hero. In another life you always win the game. In another life no one ever cheats you. In another life you never have to change. In another life your friends never desert you. In another life you never have to cry. In another life no one ever hurts you. In another life your loved ones never die. But this is the life you have. This is the life. In another life you're always the victim. In another life you're always the thief. In another life you are always lonely. In this other life there is no relief. In your real life treat it like it's special. In your real life try to be more kind. In your real life think of those that love you. In your real life try to be less blind. This is the life you have." - Living Colour

"Myth is someone else's religion." - Caroline Llewellyn, The Lady of the Labyrinth

"Violence represents the worst kind of conformism." - Mario Varga Llosa

"Parents wonder why the streams are bitter, when they themselves have poisoned the fountain." - John Locke

"Reading furnishes the mind only with materials of knowledge; it is thinking that makes what we read ours." - John Locke

"We have uniformly rejected all letters and declined all discussion upon the question of when the present century ends, as it is one of the most absurd that can engage the public attention, and we are astonished to find it has been the subject of so much dispute, since it appears plain. The present century will not terminate till January 1, 1801, unless it can be made out that 99 are 100... It is a silly, childish discussion, and only exposes the want of brains of those who maintain a contrary opinion to that we have stated." - The London Times, 26 December 1799

"Every man has his secret sorrows, which the world knows not; and oftentimes we call a man cold when he is only sad." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"The man on top of the mountain did not fall there." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"I'm furious about the Women's Liberationists. They keep getting up on soapboxes and proclaiming that women are brighter than men. That's true, but it should be kept quiet or it ruins the whole racket." - Anita Loos

"Everyone's a little bit unsatisfied. Everyone goes 'round a little empty inside. Take a breath, look around, swallow your pride, for now... Nothing lasts, life goes on, full of surprises. You'll be faced with problems of all shapes and sizes. You're going to have to make a few compromises... for now... For now we're healthy. For now we're employed. For now we're happy, if not overjoyed. And we'll accept the things we cannot avoid, for now... For now there's life. For now there's love. For now there's work. For now there's happiness. For now discomfort. For now there's friendship. Don't stress, relax, let life roll off your backs. Except for death and paying taxes, everything in life is only for now! Each time you smile it'll only last a while. Life may be scary, but it's only temporary. Everything in life is only for now." - Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx, Avenue Q

"If I waited to be right before I spoke, I would be sending little cryptic messages on the Ouija board, complaints from the other side." - Audre Lorde

"Maybe that is all any bravery is, a stronger fear of not being brave."-Audre Lorde, Zami: A New Spelling of My Name

"I believe I found the missing link between animal and civilized man. It is us." - Konrad Lorenz

"Because a fellow has failed once or twice, or a dozen times, you don't want to set him down as a failure till he's dead or loses his courage - and that's the same thing." - George Lorimer

"To be outspoken when truth is under attack, when charity is being bruised, or when important issues of life are at stake is a good and courageous thing. To be outspoken when nothing is at stake except the feelings of someone else is a small and contemptible thing." - Lawrence G. Lovasik

"Try to understand that there is more thought-lessness than malice in the world. People are not out to offend you deliberately and maliciously. But all of us are thoughtless at times and do not readily realize that our words and actions are going to hurt people." - Lawrence G. Lovasik, The Hidden Power of Kindness

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy is then to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness." - Love and Death

"What we see depends mainly on what we look for." - John Lubbock

"Seek beauty and miss love.

But seek love and find both." - Mac Lucado

"You are a living mockery of your own ideals. If not, you have set your ideals too low" - Charles Ludlam

"When I'm good I'm very, very good. And when I'm bad, I'm not bad. I'm very good at being bad." - Charles Ludlam, Bluebeard

"I am bigger than anything that can happen to me. All these things, sorrow, misfortune, and suffering, are outside my door. I am in the house, and I have the key." - Charles Fletcher Lummis

"But THEY know how to pick locks. And they're coming in. Because that's the sort of thing that happens when somebody thinks that all the bad stuff is locked outside." - Daniel O.

"Anger is a thief who steals away the nice moments." - Joan Lunden

"Often, we don't recognize real moments of happiness in our lives because we've been expecting something different- something bigger or perhaps more dramatic." - Joan Lunden

"If you're not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there." - Martin Luther

"Most of us believe in trying to make other people happy only if they can be happy in ways which we approve." - Robert S. Lynd

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