This is a collection of quotes that is still growing. If you have any comments on
these quotes, or others you'd like to share email me
but PLEASE don't send me any anonymous or self quotes.

This page was filled on May 18, 2001

"It's a Pokemon Polka. It's awesome." - Pia
"Can't we talk about Monty Python like normal goths?" - Ian

"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it." - Mark Twain

"Incredibly, many people continue their old life-style, their habits even if they feel miserable, lonely, bored, inadequate, or abused. Why? Of course... because habit is an easy place to hide." - Tom Rusk

"I ain't good-lookin', but I'm somebody's angel child." - Bessie Smith

"Everybody's playing the game but nobody's rules are the same... Never make a promise or plan. Take a little love where you can... Never stay too long in your bed. Never lose your heart, use your head... Never take a stranger's advice. Never let a friend fool you twice... Never be the first to believe. Never be the last to deceive... Never leave a moment too soon. Never waste a hot afternoon... Never stay a minute too long. Don't forget the best will go wrong... Better learn to go it alone. Recognise you're out on your own. Nobody's on nobody's side." - Tim Rice, Chess

"There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside of you." - Maya Angelou

"I met a man so poorly read that he had to make up his own quotations from the classics." - Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

"We must never forget that art is not a form of propaganda; it is a form of truth." - John F. Kennedy

"A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner, so if one's life is cold and bare he can blame none but himself." - Louis L'Amour

"On behalf of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), I am writing to ask that you make Timothy McVeigh's final meals vegetarian ones... Mr. McVeigh's last meal, on May 16, should not involve bloodshed and the slaughter of an unwilling victim. The other animals feel every bit as much pain as we do, they are horrified at the sight and smells of the slaughterhouse, and they're afraid to die. Like us, they fight for their lives and wish to avoid pain.
Please don't let Timothy McVeigh be responsible for the death of even one more living being." - Bruce Friedrich of PETA in a letter to Timothy McVeigh's warden
And the response:
"I cannot sustain a prolonged intellectual debate on the subject as my time is short, but I'd suggest hitting Ted Kaczynski up for his opinions on the subject." - Timothy McVeigh

"See my eyes - are they safe? Are they even sane?" - Tim Rice, Chess

"It's a long old road, but I know I'm gonna find the end." - Bessie Smith

"Why do women care about how big their feet are? I never saw a guy at the beach going, 'Wow, look at that woman, she is really... oh, darn! The feet are too big.'" - Richard Jeni

"Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities, always see them for they are always there." - Dr. Norman Vincent Peale

"We are told that people stay in love because of chemistry, or because they remain intrigued with each other, because of many kindnesses, because of luck... But part of it has got to be forgiveness and gratefulness." - Ellen Goodman

"We do not do what we want and yet we are responsible for what we are; that is the fact." - Jean-Paul Sartre

"Life consists not in holding good cards, but in playing well those you do hold." - Josh Billings

"Stubborn and ardent clinging to one's opinion is the best proof of stupidity." - Michel de Montaigne

"He who has a 'why' to live can bear almost any 'how'." - Friedrich Nietzsche

"Jon: They don't actually taste like chicken. It's just a clever marketing gimmick.
Phil: But it says 'Tastes Like Chicken.' It says so.
Jon: It's a misnomer. It's like that time you went to 'Nobody Beats the Wiz' in leather chaps, shouting for Michael Jackson to 'Take it like a man.'" - Jonathan Rosenberg,

"I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away." - Oscar Levant

"When you have MTV, you feel like everybody knows." - ad for MTV (although I thought it was an anti-MTV ad when I first saw it)

"No one in your life is with you constantly. No one is completely on your side." - Tim Rice, Chess

"The superior man acquaints himself with many sayings of antiquity and many deeds of the past, in order to strengthen his character thereby." -I Ching

"Grown-ups like numbers. When you tell them about a new friend, they never ask questions about what really matters. They never 'What does his voice sound like?' 'What games does he like best?' 'Does he collect butterflies?'. They ask: 'How old is he?' 'How many brothers does he have?' 'How much does he weigh?' 'How much money does his father make?' Only then do they think they know him." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince

"How can they say my life isn't a success? Have I not for more than sixty years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten?" - Logan Pearsall Smith

"People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes." - Abigail Van Buren

"I read your mind, but it wasn't a very interesting read." - Assemblage 23

"I like to pick up hitchhikers. When they get in the car I say, 'Put on your seat belt. I want to try something. I saw it once in a cartoon, but I think I can do it.'" - Steven Wright

"A philosopher is someone who goes into a dark room at night to look for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian does the same thing, but comes out claiming he found the cat." - Nick Philips, TWA Ambassador Magazine (1980)

"I've been a fool to allow dreams to become great expectations." - Tim Rice, Chess

"Things don't go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be." - Charlie "Tremendous" Jones

"Sometimes you have to play for a long time to be able to play like yourself." - Miles Dewey Davis, Jr.

"The fastest way to succeed is to look as if you're playing by somebody else's rules, while quietly playing by your own." - Michael Konda

"When you squeeze an orange, you get orange juice because that's what is inside. The very same principle is true about you. When someone squeezes you, puts pressure on you, what comes out is what's inside. And if you don't like what's inside, you can change by changing your thoughts." - O P Jhunjhunwala

"Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Too often, the opportunity knocks, but by the time you push back the chain, push back the bolt, unhook the two locks and shut off the burglar alarm, it's too late." - Rita Coolidge

"If we all pulled in one direction, the world would keel over." - Yiddish Proverb

"A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it." - Rabindranath Tagore

"I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself." - Walter Anderson

"Interestingly enough, the dogs who bark the loudest about family values - Dole, Gingrich, Gramm - all left their first wives. Put that in your little irony hookah and smoke it." - Dennis Miller, Ranting Again

"Real misanthropes are not found in solitude, but in the world, since it is experience of life, and not philosophy, which produces real hatred of mankind." - Giacomo Leopardi

"Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better." - Sydney J. Harris

"Parents wonder why the streams are bitter, when they themselves have poisoned the fountain." - John Locke

"I was up on 96th Street today, there was a kid couldn't have been more than ten years old. He was asking a street vendor if he had any other bootlegs as good as Death Blow. That's who I care about. The little kid who needs bootlegs, because his parent or guardian won't let him see the excessive violence and strong sexual content you and I take for granted." - Seinfeld

"Where are you, my friend? I lost even your shadow." - Tverskoy Boulevard

"Only five nights ago he had contemplated smashing her skull in with a cobblestone; but that was of no importance." - George Orwell, 1984

"I seemed busy, busy, busy, but I suppose, if pressed, I might have admitted that, for all my frenzy, I was very much alone." - Willima Goldman

"The question is not whether things will change, but how." - David Edgar, Teendreams

Person A: "My son died of AIDS today, he got it from being gang-raped when he was in prison.
Person B: That's what he gets for committing a crime.
A: He never should have been there in the first place. He was innocent.
B: He shouldn't have skimped on a good lawyer.
A: He was poor. He couldn't afford one.
B: Too bad he was too lazy to get a good job.
A: But there aren't any good jobs anymore.
B: There's always prison construction." - a comic by Ted Rall

"We have to leave now. You can sing to your jacket on the way." - Barney

"Family!... You might just as well celebrate battle, murder and sudden death." - Margaret Mahy, The Tricksters

"You're not gonna change any of them by talkin' right, they've got to want to learn themselves." - Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

"Occasionally I think of things. The wrong things, I suppose." - Limelight

"The world is cold and gray and unfeeling and my mother is nagging me to clean up my room." - Anonymous, Go Ask Alice

"I'm going to have to bring a blade or a gun and really do that guy."
...and then three seconds later:
"Goodbye! Peace and Love!" - Sunrise

"You preferred to be a lunatic, a minority of one." - George Orwell, 1984

"You name an issue and we'll rationalise it." - Prof. Schwebel (discussing the religion department at my college)

"I don't know Brooklyn. No one does really. People always go there and never come back." - Mark Helprin, Winter's Tale

"Rather than join this world of killers and makers of killers I would do anything even go crazy because the crazy don't have to love or hate or feel anything or worry about what they've said." - David W. Elliott, Listen to the Silence

"Hi, my friends call me creepy." - pick-up line #96

"Live without hope. Live for the moment." - Limelight

"I can choose to be unstable." - Elizabeth Swados

"Like a peacock that just stepped out of a brothel." - This guy I met in Dallas in 1993 (talking about the stereotypical Texan appearance)

"Luckily, 97% of the world's water reserves are in the oceans. As our love of salt water grows, seawater will taste better than tap water. Some marine biologists predicted that when we start drinking seawater we will evolve back into sea creatures." - Darryl Henriques, 50 Simple Things You Can Do to Pave the Earth

"All the love in the world won't stop the rain from falling." - Tears for Fears

"A girl named Harry? Is she gay?" - friend of a friend

"Don't cut bangs with a hatchet. Don't do brain surgery with a pickax." - Joanne Greenberg, I Never Promised You a Rose Garden

"Everybody hurts - take comfort in your friends." - REM

"The oppressed without hope are mysteriously quiet. When the conception of change is beyond the limits of the possible, there are no words to articulate discontent so it is sometimes held not to exist." - Sheila Rowbothan, Woman's Consciousness, Man's World

"I think we must make love on the lawn like crazed weasels NOW!" - pick-up line

"Confusion seems falling from the sky like rain." - Orson Welk

"I think this is how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'" - Richard Jeni

"I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code." - Emo Phillips

"The universe is one gigantic Wishing Tree, with branches that reach into every heart: The cosmic process decrees that sometime or other, in this life or another, each of these wishes will be granted - together, of course, with consequences." - Huston Smith, The Religions of Man

"When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when a tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity." - George Bernard Shaw

"You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty." - Mahatma Gandhi

"Being powerful is like being a lady... If you have tell people you are, you aren't." - Margaret Thatcher

"I find it fascinating that most people plan their vacations with better care than they plan their lives. Perhaps that is because escape is easier than change." - Jim Rohn

"Why We Can't Win:
1) We have a clue.
2) We're nice guys.
3) We're looking for a meaningful relationship.
4) We're attracted to the same things in a friend as an amorous companion." - sign two of my male friends posted in our high school hallway (Josh and Max)

"According to a new study, 63% of men surveyed said they like to settle an argument by having sex. The other 37% of the men said they would never want to get into an argument with those men." - Jay Leno

"Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use." - Emily Post

"A good man would prefer to be defeated than to defeat injustice by evil means." - Sallust, Jugurthine War

"I'm really sorry about Al. It was a lovely funeral. You look ravishing in black, did you know that? What you need now is a nice backrub. Are the straps too tight darling? How tragic. How very, very tragic. Inheriting eighty million dollars doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart." - pick-up line

"Be yourself. No one can ever tell you you're doing it wrong." - James Leo Herlihy

"The battles you fight in your souls everyday are the toughest ones to overcome." - Ameya

"Chains do not hold a marriage together.It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years." - Simone Signoret

"Whatever gets your goat gets your attention. Whatever gets your attention gets your time. Whatever gets your time gets you. Whatever gets you becomes your master. Take care, lest a little thing horn in and get your goat" - William A. Ward

"In every heart there is a room - a sanctuary safe and strong to heal the wounds of lovers past until a new one comes along. I spoke to you in cautious tones - you answered me with no pretense and still I fear I said too much. My silence is my self defense. And every time I've held a rose it seems I only felt the thorns. And so it goes, and so it goes, and so will you soon I suppose. But if my silence made you leave then that would be my worst mistake so I will share this room with you and you can have this heart to break. And this is why my eyes are closed, it's just as well for all I've seen. And so it goes, and so it goes, and you're the only one who knows. So I will choose to be with you. That's if the choice were mine to make. But you can make decisions too and you can have this heart to break. And so it goes, and so it goes, and you're the only one who knows." - Billy Joel

"People who are funny and smart and return phone calls get much better press than people who are just funny and smart" - Howard Simons, The Washington Post

"You never know till you try to reach them how accessible men are; but you must approach each man by the right door." - Henry Ward Beecher

"I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information." - Bill Watterson

"Please Rush me a Biblical Gold Book Seed Harvest Prosperity Plan so that I can take God as my financial partner." - Saint Matthew's Churches (they sent me a book in the mail)

"1) Children are not pets.
2) The life they actually live and the life you perceive them to be living is not the same life.
3) Don't take what your children do too personally.
4) Don't keep scorecards on them - a short memory is useful.
5) Dirt and mess are a breeding ground for wellbeing.
6) Stay out of their rooms after puberty.
7) Stay out of their friendships and love-life unless invited in.
8) Don't worry that they never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.
9) Learn from them; they have much to teach you.
10) Love them long; let them go early." - Robert Fulghum, It Was On Fire When I Lay Down On It

"It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it." - Lena Horne

"It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not." - James Gordon, M.D.

"I think it is the best of humanity that goes out to walk. In happy hours, I think all affairs may be wisely postponed for walking." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"It is dangerous to free people who prefer to be slaves." - Machiavelli

"So many of us define ourselves by what we have, what we wear, what kind of house we live in and what kind of car we drive... If you think of yourself as the woman in the Cartier watch and the Hermes scarf, a house fire will destroy not only your possessions but yourself." - Linda Henley

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Signature quotes
Alphabetical index of quotes