This page was filled on July 25, 2002

"Repel them. Repel them. Induce them to relinquish the spheroid." - chant for Indiana University's football team

"I don't understand why asking people to eat a well-balanced vegetarian diet is considered drastic, while it is medically conservative to cut people open and put them on cholesterol-lowering drugs for the rest of their lives." - Dean Ornish, MD

"Procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of fun until you get the bill." - Christopher Parker

"Always be willing to look at both sides of the argument. Understanding the other side is the best way to strengthen your own." - Jim Rohn

"C. Montgomery Burns: Family, religion, friendship: these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. When opportunity knocks, you don't want to be driving to a maternity hospital or sitting in some phony-baloney church. Or synagogue." - The Simpsons

"We're wallowing in more bad music today than ever before. The kids have taken over radio, and the result is murder, musically." - Jack Cullen (in 1957)

"Peace is not the absence of war, but the presence of justice" - Martin Luther King

"I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it." - Harry S Truman

"If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, 'Who could have done this? We have no enemies.." - Phyllis Diller, Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints

"Men hate those to whom they have to lie." - Victor Hugo

"When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth." - George Bernard Shaw

"If you make every game a life and death proposition, you're going to have problems. For one thing, you'll be dead a lot." - Dean Smith

"I believe in an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out." - Arthur Hays Sulzberger

"Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow. Delay may give clearer light as to what is best to be done." - Aaron Burr

"The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

"There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem." - Harold Stephens

"I thought he was a young man of promise, but it appears he is a young man of promises." - Arthur James Balfour (referring to Winston Churchill)

"Preach the Gospel at all times. If necessary, use words." - St. Francis of Assisi

"Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought." - Kin Hubbard

"I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me." - Dave Barry

"What you are thunders so that I cannot hear what you say to the contrary." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Often we have no time for our friends but all the time in the world for our enemies." - Leon Uris

"The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they'll just be known as the Bullets." - Jay Leno

"When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere." - Francois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld

"Does capital punishment then to the security of the people? By no means. It hardens the hearts of men, and makes the loss of life appear light to them; it renders life insecure, inasmuch as the law holds out that property is of greater value than life." - Elizabeth Fry

"If you want to say something radical, you should dress conservative." - Steve Biko

"Practice doesn't make perfect, nor is it supposed to. Practice is about increasing your repotoire of ways to recover from your mistakes." - Joann C. Gutin

"Don't make love by the garden gate, because even if love is blind, the neighbors ain't." - Texas Proverb

"Cultivate more joy by arranging your life so that more joy will be likely." - George Witkin

"Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." - Albert Camus

"How can you trust a man who wears both a belt and suspenders? The man can't even trust his own pants!" - C'era una volta il West

"We would often be ashamed of our finest actions if the world understood all the motives which produced them." - Duc de La Rochefoucauld

"Be fond of the man who jests at his scars, if you like; but never believe he is being on the level with you." - Pamela Hansford Johnson

"The sexual assault of a child by an adult is no more an expression of homosexual love than rape is an expression of heterosexual love." - Richard Rodriguez, Salon

"The most painful moral struggles are not those between good and evil, but between good and a lesser good." - Barbara Grizzuti Harrison

"Baldrick, does it have to be this way? Our valued friendship ending with me cutting you into long strips and telling the Prince you walked over a very sharp cattle grid in an extremely heavy hat?" - Blackadder

"An economist is someone who sees something working in practice and asks whether it would work in principle." - Stephen M. Goldfeld

"Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival." - W. Edwards Deming

"To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive." - Robert Louis Stevenson

"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable." - Helen Keller

"Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you can not bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond that pain." - Kahlil Gibran

"Speaking without thinking is shooting without taking aim." - Spanish Proverb

"Every man supposes himself not to be fully understood or appreciated." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Nothing is so simple that it cannot be misunderstood." - Freeman Teague, Jr.

"The beauty of religious mania is that it has the power to explain everything. Once God (or Satan) is accepted as the first cause of everything which happens in the mortal world, nothing is left to chance or change." - Stephen King, The Stand

"It was Patrick Henry who said, 'Give me liberty or give me death'. Today, a lot of folks leave out the words liberty and death." - Joe Moore

"Time... is not a great healer. It is an indifferent and perfunctory one. Sometimes it does not heal at all. And sometimes when it seems to, no healing has been necessary." - Ivy Compton-Burnett

"The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Humor is just another defense against the universe." - Mel Brooks

"If error is corrected whenever it is recognised as such, the path of error is the path of truth." - Hans Reichenbach

"We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be!" - Robert Orben

"Every person I work with knows something better than me. My job is to listen long enough to find it and use it." - Jack Nichols

"Somewhere out in this audience may even be someone who will one day follow my footsteps, and preside over the White House as the president's spouse. I wish him well!" - Barbara Bush

"Do not think of knocking out another person's brains because he differs in opinion from you. It would be as rational to knock yourself on the head because you differ from yourself ten years ago." - Horace Mann

"No amount of security is worth the suffering of a life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams." - Anonymous

"A hustler has to get out of town as quick as he can, but a good con-man--he doesn't have to leave until he wants to." - Diggstown

"When the fox preaches, look to your geese." - German Proverb

"An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile ? hoping it will eat him last." - Winston Churchill

"Well, I was looking at a coin and I saw that it said 'in God we trust,' and I thought to myself, 'I don't trust in God.' And then I did some looking into it and I found that the Constitution and the law seemed to be on my side, so I filed a suit. It's kind of neat. I think everyone should do it." - Michael A. Newdow (who on June 26th, 2002 had the 9th circuit court uphold his suit against Congress, the state, et cetera, regarding the [un]constitutionality of recitation of the pledge of allegiance in schools due to the inclusion of the phrase "under God.")

"A clever, ugly man every now and then is successful with the ladies, but a handsome fool is irresistible." - William Makepeace Thackeray

"When you are younger, you worry about what people think about you. When you are older, you realize that no one was ever thinking about you at all." - Brian Tracy

"Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar." - Edward R. Murrow

"It is the inside you that is important. Dress up and look good so you attract people who can find out how nice, interesting and valuable you are." - Patricia Fripp

"If God didn't make homosexuals - there wouldn't be any." - sign at NYC Gay Pride Parade 2002

"Intelligence is the thing that enables a man to get along without education. Education enables a man to get along without the use of his intelligence." - Albert Edward Wiggam

"It is as absurd to say that a man can't love one woman all the time as it is to say that a violinist needs several violins to play the same piece of music." - Honore de Balzac

"I don't understand people who go to amusement parks. I spend most of my time trying NOT to be nauseous. 'Excuse me, could you strap me in upside down? I'd like to be as sick as humanly possible. I feel great today, I think I'll go down to Funland and snap my neck on the back of a ride. Honey, let's bring the kids, I want to give them a spinal cord injury for Christmas.'" - Dom Irrera

"They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own." - Antonio Porchi

"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others." - Peace Pilgrim

"People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: I'm such a klutz! But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver." - George Carlin

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." - Carl Jung

"If you observe a really happy man you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, educating his son, growing double dahlias, or looking for dinosaur eggs in the Gobi Desert.

He will not be searching for happiness as if it were a collar button that had rolled under the radiator, striving for it as the goal itself. He will have become aware that he is happy in the course of living life 24 crowded hours of each day." - W. Beran Wolfe

"Genius is more often found in a cracked pot than in a whole one." - E.B. White

"One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you don't come home at night." - Margaret Mead

"Regi: You must have a lot of friends that could give you a job.
Ted: That'd be a fine friend who'd give you a job. No friend of mine had better try anything like that on me." - Hands Across the Table

"New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved." - Johnny Carson

"Isn't man an amazing animal? He kills wildlife by the millions in order to protect his domestic animals and their feed. Then he kills domestic animals by the billions (9 billion in the U.S. alone in 1996) and eats them. This in turn kills man by the millions, because eating all these animals leads to degenerative -- and fatal -- health conditions like heart disease, stroke, kidney disease, and cancer. So then man tortures and kills millions more animals to look for cures for these diseases. Elsewhere, millions of other human beings are being killed by hunger and malnutrition because food they could eat is being used to fatten domestic animals. Meanwhile, some people are dying of sad laughter at the absurdity of man, who kills so easily and so violently, and once a year sends out cards praying for 'Peace on Earth.'" - C. David Coats

"I don't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs." - Nancy Reagan

"Some men come by the name of genius in the same way as an insect comes by the name of centipede -- not because it has a hundred feet, but because most people can't count above fourteen." - G.C. Lichtenberg

"The noblest question in the world is, 'What good can I do in it?'" - Benjamin Franklin

"I have from an early age abjured the use of meat, and the time will come when men such as I will look upon the murder of animals as they now look upon the murder of men." - Leonardo Da Vinci

"Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." - G.K. Chesterton

"The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life and you must accept regret." - Henri Frederic Amiel

"Have you ever observed that we pay much more attention to a wise passage when it is quoted than when we read it in the original author?" - Philip G. Hamerton, The Intellectual Life

"My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia." - Dame Edna Everage

"Exposure plus 95 cents might buy you a decent cup of coffee. The key is to 'position' yourself in your market as the expert, the resource, the only person your prospect would ever even THINK of doing business with, or referring to others." - Bob Burg

"In Lubbock, we grew up with two main things: God loves you and he's gonna send you to hell, and that sex is bad and dirty and nasty and awful and you should save it for the one you love." - Butch Hancock

"Happened after he got to Hollywood. Reagan got carried away by stories of the Communist Party helping the unemployed, the homeless, the dispossessed. Some of his friends, people he respected, were Party members. So he turned to them. Said he wanted to become a communist... Said he was determined to join. They discussed it with the local Party leader, who asked around, and word came back that Reagan was a flake... They said Reagan couldn't be trusted with a political opinion for more than 20 minutes. So the decision was taken to prevent him from joining, but to use him as a friend of the Party." - Howard Fast as quoted by Edmund Morris, - Dutch: A Memoir of Ronald Reagan

"He was born on third base and thinks he hit a triple." - Jim Hightower (on George Herbert Walker Bush)

"It is sad and wrong to be so dependent for the life of my life on any human being as I am on you; but I cannot by any force of logic cure myself at this date, when it has become second nature." - Jane Welsh Carlyle

"Maybe this world is another planet's Hell." - Aldous Huxley

"There are two sides to every question because when there are no longer two sides, it ceases to be a question." - Herbert Samuel

"You will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." - John Quincy Adams

"The taste for quotations (and for the juxtaposition of incongruous quotations) is a Surrealist taste." - Susan Sontag, On Photography

"You are so lame. You always disappoint me. It's kind of like our running joke but it's really not funny and I just want you to live up to the image of you I create." - ani difranco

"I never liked anyone who didn't have a temper. If you don't have any temper, you don't have any passion." - Michael Bloomberg

"If you success is not on your own terms; if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all." - Anna Quindlen

"Courage may be the most important of all virtues, because without it one cannot practice any other virtue with consistancy." - Maya Angelou

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Signature quotes
Alphabetical index of quotes